Just Completed Round 4

When you're looking for the perfect fit, it can be quite the endeavor when you're an "average" size.  There's so many choices and, of course, they don't all fit the same or look the same.  The hard part isn't choosing which one, it's getting through all that you have to choose from.  My luxury is that I have the means to order a number of items at one time and that certainly saves me money in the long run and time because I'm not limited to just one or two at a time.  I usually order 15 to 20 at a time and Round 4 was no different.  This Round had 21 items in it and, surprisingly, it was the most successful of them all.  I found three to keep and six that I'll be trying in a different size to see if that takes care of the fit problems that I experienced.

Fantasie and Panache are tied for most styles that I've tried on from their lines--13 different bras each--with Panache being the winner, so far, for styles that worked with my shape and aspects of fit.

There is quite the difference between this round and the first one: I know my own breast shape a lot better.  During the first round, I ordered what I thought was pretty and what I thought I'd like.  Basically, there was no filter except aesthetics.  NOW, I know which bras to avoid, as a short-rooted, evenly full (which makes me functionally full on bottom (FoB)), breast shape.  I also have bottom-of-the-cup projection (also known as immediate projection) but I can't tell from website pictures which ones will work and which ones won't; mainly because most websites photoshop their pictures, erasing the "flaws" so there's no way for me to really filter for that fit aspect.

To give you an idea of my journey, I'm attaching a list of the brands, styles, and sizes that I've tried.  I'm not including my notes this time because they tend to not fit in the blog format but you can see where I've tried alternate sizes in various styles.  There's also an overlap/repeat from the first leg because my list is sorted alphabetically.  Makes it easier to check my notes when I go back to them.  (The odd spacing is attributed to the space that my notes take up on the Excel sheet)

Chantelle	C Ideal Tshirt	Hazelnut	36H
Chantelle	Pont Neuf	Black	36H
Chantelle	Rive Gauche	Black	36G
Chantelle	Rive Gauche	Black	36H
Chantelle	Revele Moi	Black	36H
Cleo by Panache	Juna Balconette	Black	36F
Cleo by Panache	Juna Balconette	Black	36FF
Cleo by Panache	Lily Balconette	Aqua	36FF
Cleo by Panache	Lucy Balconette	Black	36FF
Cleo by Panache	Lucy Balconette	Black	38F
Cleo by Panache	Maddie Balconette	Blue	36FF
Cleo by Panache	Marcie Balconette	Burgundy	36FF
Curvy Couture	Cotton Luxe T-Shirt	Black	36H
Curvy Couture	Matte and Shine T-Shirt	Nude	36H
Curvy Couture	Tulip Lace Push-Up	Black	36H
Curvy Kate	Princess Balconette	Black	36FF
Elomi	Betty Plunge	Black	36FF
Elomi	Bijou Convertible T-Shirt	Surf	36FF
Elomi	Caitlyn Side Support	Chambray	36FF
Elomi	Lexi Plunge	Ultra Violet	36FF
Elomi	Nina	Lipstick	36FF
Elomi	Tessa	Cobalt	36FF
Fantasie	Alex Side Support	Sand	36FF
Fantasie	Allegra Balcony	Black	36FF
Fantasie	Elodie Side Support	Black	36FF
Fantasie	Ivana Balcony	Rosewood	36FF
Fantasie	Jacqueline Side Support	Black	36FF
Fantasie	Joanna Side Support	Black	36FF
Fantasie	Lois Side Support	Pink	36FF
Fantasie	Melissa Side Support Plunge	Black	36FF
Fantasie	Natalie Side Support	Samba	36FF
Fantasie	Rebecca Mirage T-Shirt	Blush	36FF
Fantasie	Rebecca T-Shirt	Red	36FF
Fantasie	Susanna Side Support	Smokey Rose	36FF
Fantasie	Smoothing Tshirt	Nude	36FF
Fantasie	Salsa Balcony	Nude	36FF
Fine Lines	Blessed Memory Convertible Tshirt	Skin	36H
Freya	Active Molded Sport	Atomic Blue	36FF
Freya	Deco Spotlight Plunge Tshirt	Ivory	36FF
Freya	Gem	Nude	36FF
Freya	Idol Balcony Tshirt	Nude	36FF
Freya	Rapture Plunge	Black	36FF
Freya	Siren Balcony Plunge	Black	36FF
Freya	Minx Balconette	Leopard	36FF
Freya	Fifi Balconette Half Cup	Ballet Pink/Black	36FF
Freya	Deco Debut Plunge	Clover	36FF
Freya	Marvel Side Support	Black	36FF
Freya	Active Maximum Control Sports	Nude	36FF
Freya	Rio Balconette	White	36FF
Goddess	Rose Lace	Nude	36H
Gossard	Glossies Unlined	Nude	36F
Gossard	Glossies Unlined	Black	36FF
Heidi Klum Intimates	Madeline	Royal Vista Blue	36FF
Heidi Klum Intimates	Sofia Lace	Jet	36FF
Le Mystere	Dream Tisha Tshirt	Natural	36H
Natori	Pure Allure Tshirt	Vivid Violet	36H
Natori	Satin Fleur	Buff	36H
Natori	True Decadence Embroidered	Black	36H
Panache	Andorra	Black	36FF
Panache	Andorra	Black	38F
Panache	Clara Full Cup	Charcoal/Black	36FF
Panache	Colette Balconette	Claret	36FF
Panache	Dahlia Balconette	Nude	36FF
Panache	Envy Balconette	Nude	36FF
Panache	Floris Balconette	Ivory Multi	36FF
Panache	Idina Balconette	Black	36FF
Panache	Idina Lace Tshirt	Black	36FF
Panache	Melody Full Cup	Nude	36FF
Panache	Tango Balconette	Black	36FF
Panache	Porcelain Elan Lace Convertible	Navy	36FF
Panache	Cari Tshirt	Cranberry	36FF
Panache	Esme Balconette	Black/Nude	36FF
Parfait by Affinitas	Charlotte Balconette	Purple Wine	36FF
Parfait by Affinitas	Destiny Balconette	Cassis	36FF
Parfait by Affinitas	Jeanie	Java	36FF
Passionata by Chantelle	Starlight Plunge	Black	36H
Passionata by Chantelle	Sexy Fashion Demi	Grapefruit/Pink	36H
Prima Donna	Madison Full Cup	Scarlet	36H
Sculptresse	Kitty Full Cup	Hot Red	36FF
Wacoal	Casual Beauty	Toast	36H
Wacoal	Fine Form	Cappucino	36H
Wacoal	La Femme T-Shirt	Cappucino	36H
Wacoal	Maximum Control Sport	Blue Iris	36H
Wacoal	Retro Chic	Minimal Gray	36H

Out of these 84 items, four have been kept (from four rounds of try-ons) with the Chantelle Rive Gauche being the one that I settled on six months ago as a compromise as I continued my search.  I bought four different colors to get me through.

If you're still in your own bra journey, keep on keeping on.  You'll find something that works for you.  If you're local to me and want to do a Fit Event--where I take on the task of ordering and returning items for just a little more than it would cost you to return anything--email me and let's get something set up.

Post Coming Soon

It's been more than a month since my last post.  There's a couple posts in the works, I just haven't gotten them out yet.  I had surgery almost two weeks ago and have been resting up at home.  I have to admit, though, it's been nice not *having* to wear a bra for the past two weeks.

If you're on the East Coast, stay safe out there--Jonas is currently only a couple hours in to the bashing of my state.  Stay safe, stay warm and...

Encouragement For The Discouraged (And Those Who Are Just Beginning Their Journey)

Trying to find a bra that fits can be quite the daunting task; especially if it’s something that you never really thought about before.  It can seem that the more you know about how a bra should fit, the more difficult the struggle and that is not an incorrect assessment because the more you know about the nuances of fit, the more bras you find that *don’t* fit.  At the beginning, you may have just been happy to have something to keep your breasts from wobbling around.  Now, you may have very specific wants and, eerily like dating, what you’re looking for means you have to weed through a ton of what doesn’t work for you or your shape.

If you’ve never worn a bra before, it’s learning a whole new language, jargon and all.  Before you started getting educated, a gore might have just been that guy who made a documentary about Global Warming; cups might have just been something that you drank out of; wires might have been what you send via Western Union.

Have patience with yourself.  No language is learned overnight.  No partner is found immediately.  It will take some time to find a garment that fits perfect; especially when you consider everything that you’ve learned so far and how many aspects of fit you’re trying to meet.  If you don’t shop online, it will take much longer, more than likely because that’s where you’ll find those non-matrix sized bras.--unless you’re fortunate to have a boutique within driving distance. You’re very lucky if you find the Perfect Fit within your first ten bras.  I really think that is rare, considering how many styles there are.  In my size, there are nearly 200 styles to choose from.  Some are nursing/maternity so that makes it that much easier to rule those out—I don’t even have to try them on to know they’re not for me. 

You might even encounter a situation like I have: you find a bra that fits and then you gain (or lose) weight and thereby changing the size (and possibly the shape) of your breasts and now you can choose to start fresh or wear what fit last month for a few more months, until you can afford to buy your new size. 

Again, please be patient with yourself.  Going back to the language analogy—you know how I love them—if you’re learning a new language so that you can visit a foreign land, the words are going to sound different when they’re actually used in context.  Give yourself time to learn the language and time, again, to get comfortable communicating in it.  THEN, it’s time to navigate the new land.

Six Months Into My Journey For The Perfect Fit

     Six months ago, when I realized that I had been measuring customer incompletely for nearly nine years, I was completely taken aback.  I took great pride in getting women into great fitting bras, and to find that maybe they hadn’t fit all that “great”, was quite a revelation.  As it was, I suffered from what I called an “occupational hazard” of assessing whether someone’s bra fit everywhere that I was.  I didn’t need to be at work.  I mentally assessed everywhere—grocery store, book store, walking down the street.  Well, now that I know more than I did six months ago, it’s even worse.  Lol.

     I see women with very small ribcages and think: “I bet she’s wearing a 32 band because that’s all that she can find.”  Or, I’ll see a very large busted woman, coming all out of her bra and think: “Goodness!  I wonder if she knows there are letters beyond DDD?”  That last thought was common before but the first one, even more so.  In some cases, I’ve taken to working the subject of well fitting bras into every conversation that I have.  It’s not difficult.  Just about everyone hates buying bras because they really don’t know what size they are.  I like to think that by referring them to the bra size calculator on my blog—so conveniently linked to r/ABraThatFits on reddit—that I'm helping the nation’s population, one size at a time.

     As for my own journey, it’s been quite the challenge.  I got rid of all my regular 36DDD garments within the first month of finding that I was a 36FF/36H.  That was after I set out on my quest to find the Perfect Fit.  I still haven’t found it, even after trying on more than 70 bras so far--here's a snippet, but I did find one style that fit Pretty Well—the Chantelle Rive Gauche (thank goodness for sales)--and another that Fit Even Better—Elila Unlined Banded Lace—so I feel like I’m doing pretty well.  The only downside is that I gained ten pounds in the past month and I think five of it went to my boobs which means that the size I bought back then doesn’t fit as well as it could/should.  I’ll be damned if I go buy new bras, though, after spending $200 on new ones.  I’ll just get these ten pounds off and call it a day.

     I can’t wait to see how the journey has progressed in another six months.

The Accepted and Not Offensive Term is "Pendulous"

...and the technical term is "Ptosis."

Six months ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about saying "drooping" or "sagging."  They describe a state of being (regarding breasts, in this case) that I didn't blink at.  Say those words and everybody knows what you're talking about.  Unfortunately, words like droop or sag can be quite crushing to someone who is just coming up in the world or where the terms are used only with a negative connotation.  And, realistically, if you look at the synonyms for them, there doesn't appear to be any "good" words; though I do like languid--makes me think of an easy-going Summer day but I digress.

The term most accepted by those who participate in discussion about breasts on the subreddit ABraThatFits is "pendulous."  I have no problem switching to the accepted term.  Why would I fight to use droop or sag?  I have no intellectual ownership of them.  I gain nothing by insisting upon using them?  I would ask others, if you don't already use the term "pendulous", try to do so.

I once equated the term comparison of "sagging" and "pendulous" to that of "retarded" and "special needs", hoping to make a point.  It didn't appear to have worked.  Folks can be offended by the term "sagging" just as folks can be offended by the term "retarded."  Why not use the less offensive term if you lose nothing in doing so?

So, what is "pendulous"?  It's most literal definition, according to dictionary.com: hanging down loosely (with an example of "pendulous blossoms"--now that sounds quite pretty...makes me think of lilacs :) )

In terms of breasts, if they're pendulous, most of the breast tissue is below the Infra-Mammary Fold (IMF).  For those who have breasts that aren't pendulous, this condition might be associated with someone who has gained and lost a large amount of weight, someone who exercises without a bra, or someone who is aged.  Though commonly true, that is not always the case.  Anyone, at any age or level of maturity, can have pendulous breasts.  It's all about genetic, biological, and physiological structure.  There might be other -ogical things involved but it's late at night and none come immediately to mind.

To be pendulous doesn't always have to be large breasts either.  A person can be on the smaller end of the spectrum and still have pendulous breasts.  I had a customer a few years back who was quite thin.  She had pendulous breasts that were made up of just the skin.  There was very little fat within the breast.  And they were positioned below the IMF.  Pendulous.  Conversely, I've had customers who had very large, non-augmented breasts, that were not.

Again, it's just a matter of how the cells in your body are configured.  They are neither good nor bad.  They just are and they are you and you are a beautiful, unique combination of traits.

It's not only those at the larger end of the band spectrum that are getting left out.

Those who are at the smaller end usually have to compromise as well.  Imagine needing to wear a band that is a 24 or 26 but only being able to find a 28 and hoping that you can "sister size" into a decently fitting cup?  If you're a 24FF, you *might* find a 28E that fits decently but probably not.  28 bands barely get any love in the current world.  Imagine how much less love there is for 26 and 24 inch bands.  It's like being a grown person and having to shop in the children section because "you're so tiny".  Condescending much?

Help these folks out.  Sign the petition on change.org:

UK lingerie brands: Show some love to the 26 band sizes.

Finding the Correct Combination to the Perfect Fit

I was so excited to get started on this post that I had to force myself to finish folding the pile of laundry that had just come out of the dryer or it would never get folded.  I’d finish up this post and then find something else to do and the laundry would just never make it out of the basket.  Alas!  It is done!

So…why is it so dang difficult to find a bra that fits?  There are hundreds of styles out there.  It shouldn’t be so difficult, right?  Yeah, not so much.  (And this is where the fun part of this post comes into play because, see, I love analogies and I’m gonna use one that makes tons, oodles, lots of sense.  I hope).

Think of all the aspects of fit or aspects of breast configuration, in some cases.  Are you pondering them?  There’s a lot, right?  Let’s make a list…all the ones that I can think of right now:

• Pendulousness (shallow to waist level) **edited to keep the aspect in the same realm
• Root height (tall to short)
• Root width (narrow to wide)
• Root placement (close-set to wide-set)
• Fullness on Top
• Fullness on Bottom
• Firmness of tissue (Very firm to very malleable)
• Areola (Large to small)
• Nipples (Always erect to not)
• Breast direction (Splayed out to splayed in (forgive me, I don’t recall if there is a different term for splayed in))

That’s, what, ten aspects?  Now, imagine, for each aspect a scale from 0 to 9 on these ten aspects.  Maybe, yours looks like this: 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 9, 8, 9, 5 (I used my own to go with J).  You could almost say it like this: 555-555-9895.  Like it’s a phone number.  One digit different and you’re calling someone else.  Lol.  Going with the phone number analogy, think of how many different phone numbers there are in the world.  

   

There are more breast configurations than that.  There are NOT that many bras. 

So, you have to decide where you’re going to compromise.  For me, I compromise on a bra in the immediate projection arena (I have it, a lot of bras don’t)and bra lining(I don’t care if folks know I’m cold).  Aspects that I can’t or won’t compromise: Cup width (I don’t want wires poking me in the armpit), molded cups (I just don’t fill the top), and bras that are constructed in such a way that the top of the cup gives me “tarp on a boat”.

And it takes trying on a few styles to get a feel for what you’ll compromise on and what you won’t.  To date, I’ve tried on between 65 and 80 bras—some I’ve got notes on because I ordered online and tried them on at home; others were ones that I tried on in stores and didn’t have my notebook with me.  I’ve found four that worked but ALL required me to compromise on fit in some way with the compromise being different for each style.

The process of narrowing down takes some time, especially if you don’t have a bra store near you or you don’t have the method or means to order online.  I just encourage you to not give up.  Eventually, you won’t have to compromise (as much) and you will find a bra that fits.  Even if it’s just a matter of fitting *better* than your old bras.