Thursday, November 26, 2015

The Accepted and Not Offensive Term is "Pendulous"

...and the technical term is "Ptosis."

Six months ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about saying "drooping" or "sagging."  They describe a state of being (regarding breasts, in this case) that I didn't blink at.  Say those words and everybody knows what you're talking about.  Unfortunately, words like droop or sag can be quite crushing to someone who is just coming up in the world or where the terms are used only with a negative connotation.  And, realistically, if you look at the synonyms for them, there doesn't appear to be any "good" words; though I do like languid--makes me think of an easy-going Summer day but I digress.

The term most accepted by those who participate in discussion about breasts on the subreddit ABraThatFits is "pendulous."  I have no problem switching to the accepted term.  Why would I fight to use droop or sag?  I have no intellectual ownership of them.  I gain nothing by insisting upon using them?  I would ask others, if you don't already use the term "pendulous", try to do so.

I once equated the term comparison of "sagging" and "pendulous" to that of "retarded" and "special needs", hoping to make a point.  It didn't appear to have worked.  Folks can be offended by the term "sagging" just as folks can be offended by the term "retarded."  Why not use the less offensive term if you lose nothing in doing so?

So, what is "pendulous"?  It's most literal definition, according to hanging down loosely (with an example of "pendulous blossoms"--now that sounds quite pretty...makes me think of lilacs :) )

In terms of breasts, if they're pendulous, most of the breast tissue is below the Infra-Mammary Fold (IMF).  For those who have breasts that aren't pendulous, this condition might be associated with someone who has gained and lost a large amount of weight, someone who exercises without a bra, or someone who is aged.  Though commonly true, that is not always the case.  Anyone, at any age or level of maturity, can have pendulous breasts.  It's all about genetic, biological, and physiological structure.  There might be other -ogical things involved but it's late at night and none come immediately to mind.

To be pendulous doesn't always have to be large breasts either.  A person can be on the smaller end of the spectrum and still have pendulous breasts.  I had a customer a few years back who was quite thin.  She had pendulous breasts that were made up of just the skin.  There was very little fat within the breast.  And they were positioned below the IMF.  Pendulous.  Conversely, I've had customers who had very large, non-augmented breasts, that were not.

Again, it's just a matter of how the cells in your body are configured.  They are neither good nor bad.  They just are and they are you and you are a beautiful, unique combination of traits.

Friday, November 20, 2015

It's not only those at the larger end of the band spectrum that are getting left out.

Those who are at the smaller end usually have to compromise as well.  Imagine needing to wear a band that is a 24 or 26 but only being able to find a 28 and hoping that you can "sister size" into a decently fitting cup?  If you're a 24FF, you *might* find a 28E that fits decently but probably not.  28 bands barely get any love in the current world.  Imagine how much less love there is for 26 and 24 inch bands.  It's like being a grown person and having to shop in the children section because "you're so tiny".  Condescending much?

Help these folks out.  Sign the petition on

UK lingerie brands: Show some love to the 26 band sizes.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Finding the Correct Combination to the Perfect Fit

I was so excited to get started on this post that I had to force myself to finish folding the pile of laundry that had just come out of the dryer or it would never get folded.  I’d finish up this post and then find something else to do and the laundry would just never make it out of the basket.  Alas!  It is done!

So…why is it so dang difficult to find a bra that fits?  There are hundreds of styles out there.  It shouldn’t be so difficult, right?  Yeah, not so much.  (And this is where the fun part of this post comes into play because, see, I love analogies and I’m gonna use one that makes tons, oodles, lots of sense.  I hope).

Think of all the aspects of fit or aspects of breast configuration, in some cases.  Are you pondering them?  There’s a lot, right?  Let’s make a list…all the ones that I can think of right now:
  • Pendulousness (shallow to waist level) **edited to keep the aspect in the same realm
  • Root height (tall to short)
  • Root width (narrow to wide)
  • Root placement (close-set to wide-set)
  • Fullness on Top
  • Fullness on Bottom
  • Firmness of tissue (Very firm to very malleable)
  • Areola (Large to small)
  • Nipples (Always erect to not)
  • Breast direction (Splayed out to splayed in (forgive me, I don’t recall if there is a different term for splayed in))

That’s, what, ten aspects?  Now, imagine, for each aspect a scale from 0 to 9 on these ten aspects.  Maybe, yours looks like this: 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 9, 8, 9, 5 (I used my own to go with J).  You could almost say it like this: 555-555-9895.  Like it’s a phone number.  One digit different and you’re calling someone else.  Lol.  Going with the phone number analogy, think of how many different phone numbers there are in the world.  


There are more breast configurations than that.  There are NOT that many bras. 

So, you have to decide where you’re going to compromise.  For me, I compromise on a bra in the immediate projection arena (I have it, a lot of bras don’t)and bra lining(I don’t care if folks know I’m cold).  Aspects that I can’t or won’t compromise: Cup width (I don’t want wires poking me in the armpit), molded cups (I just don’t fill the top), and bras that are constructed in such a way that the top of the cup gives me “tarp on a boat”.

And it takes trying on a few styles to get a feel for what you’ll compromise on and what you won’t.  To date, I’ve tried on between 65 and 80 bras—some I’ve got notes on because I ordered online and tried them on at home; others were ones that I tried on in stores and didn’t have my notebook with me.  I’ve found four that worked but ALL required me to compromise on fit in some way with the compromise being different for each style.

The process of narrowing down takes some time, especially if you don’t have a bra store near you or you don’t have the method or means to order online.  I just encourage you to not give up.  Eventually, you won’t have to compromise (as much) and you will find a bra that fits.  Even if it’s just a matter of fitting *better* than your old bras.